I strongly believe that every woman deserves a chance to feel empowered and to see their true beauty inside and out. That is what I always aim to do with my boudoir photography. Queen N's story is one of the reasons I continue to do what I do. I am honoured to have gotten the opportunity to work with such an amazing soul who deserved to be treated like the true Queen she is.
This is the very first time I have ever done a boudoir shoot. Like most of the world, the past few years for me have been very hard. I am a nurse and a single mom. So as you can imagine, I never take care of myself. I have literally put the world ahead of my self-care. My life is work/kids/sleep, repeat......
After turning 40, my self-esteem was starting to take a turn for the worse and now, due to work/life circumstances and another heartbreak to get over, I stopped working out, I stopped dancing, and I still laugh but not as much as I used to. I used to think tomorrow would be better, tomorrow, I would focus on myself...I fell into this excuse cycle, and tomorrow never came. Now 3 years later, I have reached an all-time low when it comes to my self-esteem. I don't wear makeup, I don't dress up, and I sure don't wear heels...not because I don't want to, I just don't have a reason to. I am too tired to put any effort into doing all of these things to look good. I lost touch with my feminine power. My self-esteem was non-existent. I fell into the "you're too fat, old, ugly, no one loves you" self-talk, and I hated what I was turning into. I had become my worst enemy. I stopped loving myself. I came across this opportunity, and I went against my negative inner dialogue and thought, "I have nothing to lose at this point."
My first phone interview with Quinn was very reassuring. She gave me comfort that she is not some weirdo, but truly a woman focused on showing feminine beauty through the lens of her camera. I followed her email direction to the tee. Tried on the lingerie I bought and thought yikes, I don't know if I like these straps....or how my thighs look. Oh, the nitpicking on my body was real. But I brought it all anyway. The team was amazing. I was quiet, but that's just me, and they still made me feel amazing. After it was all said and done, I felt liberated, I felt powerful, and I felt like that 20-year-old me who didn't have a care in the world all over again (I thought that part of me was actually dead). I haven't felt like a beautiful woman in a long time, and Quinn made that possible just by bringing out my femininity with style and grace. When I saw my pictures, I cried a lot. I was able to see myself for the first time without the ugly talk. I am pretty sure I said that's not me...it sure is. I can see the "me" I have been ignoring for way too long. Now I can't stop looking at them and thinking, holy shit, that is you.
This was truly a dream come true. A bucket list item I didn't even know I had. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for making me see myself through a lens that is not filtered with trauma and negativity.
Thank you for making my imperfections perfect. I may save lives for a living, but Quinn, you save souls. You are a gift to this world. Thank you.